Doing It Afraid
Like many people, I am absolutely terrified of public speaking. If you ask me to get up in front of a crowd, my heart nearly races out of my chest, and it feels as if everything in me is shaking. I have never liked to speak in front of people. When I had to read out loud in school, I would frantically count the students ahead of me trying to figure out what I would have to read. This fear of speaking in front of others has been an unwelcomed companion since childhood. I cannot remember a time I felt comfortable speaking in front of others.
This is why I still find myself in shock each Sunday morning and Wednesday night when I step into classrooms where I am expected to either teach or co-facilitate a class full of women. While I have become more comfortable with it, the nerves are still there. Occasionally I have been asked to speak and I recently did so at a ladies’ event at a local church. It was the largest crowd I have ever spoken to, and the terror was real. To be completely honest, I was both excited and terrified. I wanted to share what God had laid on my heart, but I was so nervous.
My daughter and I were talking about it, and she asked me this question. “Why would God ask you to do something that scares you so much when He knows how much it scares you?” I had to think for a moment before answering her, but in my heart, I knew exactly what the answer was. “It forces me to lean on Him. It causes me look to Him to help me. It helps my faith to grow and keeps me from becoming prideful. I know I can’t do it without Him, and I know that He will help me.” I know this is true, but I confess, I still battle the fear of actually getting in front of people.
When the night came for me to get in front of the crowd to speak, my nerves were trying to get the best of me. I confess I was truly struggling to fight the fear that was causing my heart to race and my insides quake. However, I was determined not to let the fear win. I have a small poster hanging up in my home that says, “Do it afraid” and I had chosen to do just that. I had asked a lot of people to be praying for me and I knew that God was going to help me. I just had to get up there and face my fear. Stepping onto that platform was terrifying but God was faithful.
It started out shaky, both my insides and my voice were shaking for those first few minutes. However, God answered my prayer and began to help me calm down. While my insides continued to remain shaky, He helped my voice to become steadier. I was able to slow down and speak at a calm level and share the message I had come to share. I can most definitely say that I “did it afraid”, my friend. I can also say that God is so faithful. If He asks you to do something, He will help you do it. I assure you; I was only able to do it because He helped me.
I have always loved Philippians 4:13 in the Amplified Version. I have seen it fulfilled in my life time and time again. “I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose- I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]” This past week was no exception. Each and every time, God is faithful to His Word. If He leads me to do something, He helps me to do it.
I might have to do it afraid, but I can know that He will help me do it. I have learned that I can lean on Him and He is going to be faithful. While I may panic a little bit (okay, maybe a lot), I have learned that I can trust Him to help me do whatever it is that He is leading me to do for Him. Beloved, may I whisper a bit of encouragement to you today? Whatever that thing is that frightens you… He can help you face it. He has more than enough courage for the both of you. He can help you do what you need to do. Whatever He leads you to, He will help you do it. You can trust Him.
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deut. 31:6
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Tim. 1:7
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
Katrina Douglas
