Do you ever have one of those days that makes you wish you could just go back to bed and hide under the covers? I’ve been having one of those days for the last two days! It started yesterday morning and hasn’t stopped yet. It all started when my local Walmart made a big mistake with my grocery pickup order and had a ridiculous “solution” to the problem. I had to call corporate headquarters to get help straightening it out… only to discover today, that they hadn’t fixed it; they had made it worse!
I have spent more time, either on the phone or in person, with customer service in the last two days than I had ever wanted to! Add to that the time I had to spend on the phone with my bank and you can understand my frustration. Unfortunately, this hasn’t been the only problems I have been facing. I started this morning by burning my daughter’s pancakes after being interrupted by an unexpected knock at the door. (This should have been a clue to how this day was going to go for me!)
As I said, the frustrations of the last two days have been a little much. In fact, I have a confession to make, my friend. They have caused me to start talking to myself! Yes, you read that correctly; I have started talking to myself. Want to know what I said? I told myself, “Katrina, remember who you are. You are a Sunday school teacher. You are a women’s ministry leader. You are representing Jesus. Don’t you dare say what you are thinking!” Confession number two, I have to say this to myself quite frequently.
Do you ever get so frustrated that you have to talk to yourself and remind yourself who you are and who you are representing? I do… more often than I like to confess. The truth is that I find myself having to remind myself of truth quite frequently these days. My “remember who you are” speech has helped me bite my lips many, many times as I have dealt with difficult circumstances or people. Sometimes, reminding yourself of the truth can definitely save you from making a big mistake!
When I am tempted to say things that I know I shouldn’t; that’s when I start talking to myself. I remind myself who I am and who I represent, and that truth helps me to control my tongue. Because no matter how I feel in that moment, responding in my flesh is not the answer; it is not the right thing to do. I cannot lie and say it is easy; it’s not, and often, I actually have the right to be upset. I have the right to be upset, but here’s the hard truth. I don’t have the right to be ugly.
I am a daughter of the King. The Almighty God is my Father and as His child I represent Him. No matter how badly I may want to say some of the things that go racing through my mind; I know that because I represent Him, I can’t. Yes, I can speak up; I can demand justice. But I must guard my tongue and carefully choose the words I speak when I do so. Why? Because that person I am so mad at in that moment may need to know Jesus and if I am not careful, I could push them away from receiving Him!
As James admonishes us in James 1:19-20, “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” He follows these verses by warning us of the dangers of that tongue of ours and the damage it can cause. This, my friend, is why I have learned to talk to myself! I am not always successful, but when I do stop and remind myself who I am and who I represent, I am much more likely to restrain myself.
I’ve had some close calls the last couple days, but I am thankful to be able to say that with His help, I held my tongue. It was hard and I know for certain at one point, that one of the ladies saw the battle that was waging inside me. (I am not quite as successful yet, at restraining the expressions on my face when I am in the middle of an internal battle not to say the things my flesh wants to say!) Yet, despite the frustrations, when I remember who I am, I find the strength to hold that old tongue of mine!
My friend, I hope that the last couple days have been a lot better for you than they have for me, but if not, may I remind you that sometimes it’s okay to talk to yourself. When tempted to behave in ways contrary to what you know to be fitting for a child of God, talk to yourself, my friend. Remind yourself who you are and who you belong to. Remind yourself that you represent Him! Remind yourself that the person you find yourself so angry with, might need Jesus.
And, my friend, remind yourself that you do in fact, represent Him. As difficult as it may be at times, we must remember that we represent Him and sometimes the very people we want to give a piece of our mind, need our Savior. I cannot tell you how often this year, this crazy, insane, who would have ever dreamed of this, year, has caused me to have to remember this truth. I have found myself literally biting my lips as I talked to myself so I wouldn’t do or say anything that might besmirch the name of my Jesus.
So, dear friend, here I sit, telling you my troubles with my soothing music blasting through my headphones and I find that I am glad that I have learned to talk to myself. You see, if left on my own, I would make a big old mess of things but thankfully my Savior is working on me. And when I listen, when I talk to myself, I don’t say things I know I will regret later! Now, if only I could get my facial expressions more under control, I might be doing okay. Yes, I am most definitely a work in progress, my friend!
Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak]. Ephesians 4:29
Katrina Douglas
10/9/20
